The IUD Chronicle of Allie

Below is my entire account of my IUD of 2016. Enjoy? Kind of lengthy. Kind of swear-y. But hey; there’s gifs!

In 2016, I decided to visit a gynecologist (who the hell do I think I am, wanting to make sure I’m cancer free and healthy). About a month or so before I started visiting this doctor in March, I randomly began to have a what I thought was a period. I would bleed for one day, VERY heavy, only to stop the next. What made matters worse was the pain. I made an appointment to ensure nothing horrific was brewing down below.

This was all confusing to me because for years, I had nothing. NOTHING.


I wasn’t a fan of this doctor right from the start. We did the usual blood tests and ultrasound. After all results came back, he stated I “no longer had PCOS” and questioned me if I ever did to begin with. He also kept saying I need to lose weight.


Well, as I explained to him. I am, but bleeding every other day and experiencing huge amounts of pain hinders me from exercise; this is why I’m here!

Not to mention my metabolism changed. I would not eat for many hours of the day due to pain and couldn’t exercise most days. Sure, I lose a lot of weight in the first few months of 2016, but I was gaining and losing left and right.

Excuse the fuck out of me for having a concern.

Above all, when he asked me if I planned to have children and I said “no”, he said, quote “Oh, you’ll change your mind”. I’m not saying I felt like he was physically forcing me , but don’t belittle my choices. C’mon now.


On August 31st, Mirena was implanted. A woman doctor who was interning was present. After he inserted the speculum (oh how I loathe that word) he barely said two words to me and quickly implanted it.


There was no “1, 2, 3” or “okay, I’m going to implant it now”. He literally just BOOP and it went in. OUCH. I never imaged that much pain. I understand if I had children previously, it wouldn’t have hurt that much. However, this doctor acted like I was an asshole asking for an IUD when I didn’t have children. The woman doctor was the only one to say “how are you doing” and “are you okay”?

He literally wiped me down and left the room. He didn’t say anything else. Seriously. I was really fucking upset. I left in a half daze, grabbing onto the walls as I exited the facility (just as a side note, I used to be a cutter (back when I was 16-20; I’m 31 now; I have a high tolerance for pain. THIS. WAS. HELL).

When I scheduled a check up (for proper placement of IUD, safety, etc) the doctor seemed pissy. Whatever, I thought, it needed to happen. He told me he already cut the strings; therefore, I couldn’t check myself. So sure as hell, he’s going to check it to make sure things are good.

I come to my follow up appointment a month later. I had to leave work early. I get there and this lady says

“Oh, I’m sorry, we no longer accept your insurance.”


To say I was mad was…well, laughable. I saw on TV a week before my appointment how a certain insurance provider (mine) would no longer be accepted at Advocate Health Systems starting JANUARY 1st, 2017. NOT September-ish. I of course asked her why the fuck wasn’t I notified by e-mail, telephone, fucking carrier pigeon, etc…

“Well, I’m sorry ma’am. Unless you want to pay out of pocket…”

By this point, I was livid. I said I’m not mad at you, just this policy, I have an IUD and I’m in pain, etc.

She advised me to go to the ER

My thoughts were as follows:


“Emergency Room? Are you fucking kidding me? I have an appointment! Do you even have the vaguest conception as to how much it costs to be seen for 15 minutes in emergency care, let alone an actual hospital?! LADY THIS LAST DAMN YEAR I WORKED TEMP JOBS. THE FUCK YOU MEAN ER. AHHHHHHH”

I should have went to the ER right then and there, really. Unfortunately for me, I am way too paranoid about medical bills. Here’s what I know about ER’s from experience: you wait about 10 hours and they bring you in a room. After you finally see a doctor, there are a few more hours of whatever tests they need. Then, you are discharged and told to follow up with your primary. Now, with this insurance, seeing my primary would take months. My primary is also not a gynecologist.

Fast Forward to November

After so much pain and periods (buh dum tiss) of bleeding and calling my insurance company asking to see ANY gynecologist, I finally went to the ER. It was after my temp job had ended/me being laid off (supposedly no temp work available for me. Mkay).
I waited 14 hours to see a doctor.

When I finally get to a room, they told me “there is no gynecologists on staff (!!!)”


I (calmly) explained that it just needs to be looked it. “If it looks normal, I’ll wait until my appointment in late December to finally be seen” (by a doctor over 45 miles away form my house, north of Chicago. That is a HIKE). I mean, this was about 2AM. I was done. I was emotionally and physically drained and in so. Much. PAIN.

Finally, the moment of truth. I swear, I heard drums rolling.

So of course, as the speculum did it’s uh….thing, I was in so much pain. I felt like my stomach was a balloon. Hell, my Mom was bless her heart, she said “tell me where the IUD is. I know you guys can’t pull it out, but show me and I will!”


The doctor looked at what could only be utterly awful. She gasped, my Mom walked over. I felt my heart drop. Finally, I heard her say:

“It’s just sitting there; it’s COMPLETELY dislodged!”

They removed it. In fact, all they did was pull very gently and it came right out.

I asked how if, it was so dislodged, how it managed to stay up there? She said it was really far up, farther than what it should have been. The next day, after a wonderful sleep, I woke up and was able to touch my toes without feeling dizzy!

The blood tests results showed I was anemic from all the blood loss. After a few days, I felt much better.

Closing Comments

  1. I’d like to mention that I threw this asshole doctor’s name around left and right. The thing is, as soon as the doctors realized it was another Advocate doctor, they refrained from speaking about it.
  2. Comments included “how the hell did that happen? He didn’t check it?” After I told them the entire story about how my insurance wasn’t taken, even though the company said on the phone they would. I get it: doctors need to be paid. However, Advocate made a piss-poor decision to discontinue my insurance MONTHS in advance without notice. Shitty, fucking shit, customer service.
  3. I have no plans to sue this shit head doctor. I found him on Yelp and left a review. What’s odd is that another woman has experience something similar. Amazing.
  4. The reason I’m not suing is because of evidence. I don’t have the money to sue this guy.



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